Humility of Helplessness

Since Sunday, Isaac has been lying in the same recliner, with the same fever, and the same fits of coughing which redden his face and leave him fighting to catch a breath.  

I feel helpless to help him. 

He reads the expression on my face...I read the expression on his. 

He feels helpless too.  

Crying and scared, the girls call out to me from their beds.  Through sounds of whimpering and sniffing they share, "We can't sleep, Mommy.  We are so afraid."  Patting their heads, I say a quick prayer and tell them that God is with them every moment; therefore, they don't need to be afraid.   "But, we keep having scary thoughts that won't go away."  

I feel helpless to help them.

"What if we have bad dreams after we fall asleep?" 

They feel helpless too.

Eyes red with fatigue and body sore with exhaustion, David exhales. I snuggle up next to him and wrap my arms around his chest. "It's just been a crazy, busy week.  Sometimes it just seems impossible to get everything at work done on time."   

I feel helpless to help him.

He kisses me softly on the forehead, sighing again. 

He feels helpless too.

I pause, my head tucked neatly in my hands...thoughts aimlessly spinning and racing through my mind.  Then, like a gentle rain, giving refreshment to the wilted flowers, I feel HIS words raining down upon me, giving refreshment and nourishment to my soul.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  (2 Corinthians 12:9)

I slowly walk into the room where Isaac lies sleeping peacefully, free of coughing fits and gasping for air for a time.  Feeling his forehead, I whisper softly,  

"HIS grace is sufficient for you too, Isaac.  

HIS power is made perfect in your weakness."

I make my way to the girls room.  Their pillows still damp with remnants of tears, their bodies curled up in little, tight balls; I cover them.  Softly, I whisper, 

"HIS grace is sufficient for you too, girls.  

HIS power is made perfect in your weakness."

"I crawl into bed and turn towards David.  In the quietness of the room, I hear him breathing deeply, another days work has passed.  Another days problems have passed too. Reaching out, I gently touch his hand and whisper softly, 

"HIS grace is sufficient for you too, David. 

HIS power is made perfect in your weakness."

I roll over, close my eyes, and meditate on HIS words once more....  

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

One last thought comes to mind... 

Thank you, LORD, for my helplessness!

"Only in the humility of helplessness will we discover the sufficiency of His presence." Charles Stanley

Thank You Lord

Crusty layers of spaghetti sauce cover Avidan's body, 

with a sigh and a wet washcloth in hand, 

I gently scrub my little boy hoping that eventually, he won't be tinted red.  

I AM TIRED

The dishes in the sink are overflowing, remnants of the morning's breakfast offering a discouraging reminder that I had forgotten to run the dishwasher, 

and now have double the work to do after the children are in bed.  

I HAVE A HEADACHE

Clothing sits piled high upon my couch, 

waiting to be sorted, folded, and packed for camp.  

I haven't even completed half of the packing list yet.   

I WISH I WERE GOING ON VACATION TOO

On the table is my checkbook.  

The one I haven't balanced in several months. 

I FEEL LIKE WATCHING TV

Weeds have taken over my garden and are beginning to suffocate my plants.  

The beauty of our landscaping is quickly becoming an eyesore. 

I WOULD LOVE A MASSAGE

My Bible, sits undisturbed on the coffee table.  

 My mind fights the desire to pick it up.  

"I have too much to do already, I can't take time to read right now."

I break down, tears flowing from my eyes.

Weeping, I cry out...

"I can't do it all, I am exhausted."

A still small voice responds...

"You are right, Satin.  

You can't do it all.  

You need a Savior.

My grace is sufficient for you, 

for my power is made perfect in weakness."

I pause for a moment in silence, reflecting.

I slowly walk over, pick up my Bible and open it.

Under my breath I whisper...

HELP ME, LORD.

As I read the words on the page in front of me, 

I break down again.

This time with laughter,

rejoicing in God's gentle reminder to me, 

a sinner with a wonderful Savior.

"...I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, 

so that Christ's power may rest on me.

... I delight in weaknesses, 

in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. 

For when I am weak, then I am strong."

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Humbly, I bow my head and close my eyes,

uttering the only words that seem appropriate...

"Thank you, Lord."